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[05 Mar 2005|12:18pm] |
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into the moat |
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WTF?!?!
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| .sarah dippel is hot. |
[05 Mar 2005|12:09am] |
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 happy |
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as the sun sets | ...shed for you and many |
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i finally saw shaun of the dead tonight at scott's house. i loved it, there was a certain scene in it though that will be haunting my nightmares and making me cry forever, more so than some of the scenes in dawn of the dead, which is strange considering this was supposed to be a comedy. maybe im just a fucker.
i'm going to make an ASTS zip up, i'll get pictures somehow. have fun.
Sandpapersodomy: i love jake
jake is great
I love snakes
And I love rakes
Sandpapersodomy: BUT JAKE JAKE JAKE
DONT TAKE MY LAKE
JAKE JAKE JAK
DONT TAKE
MY
LAKE
Sandpapersodomy: LOL
Sandpapersodomy: its my new song
Sandpapersodomy: about you
Sandpapersodomy: the next part:
Sandpapersodomy: Jarvis jarvis jarvis
cant rhyme jarvis
maybe cuz it's marvilous
jake (ARSON) Jarvis
sarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarahsarah<3
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[04 Mar 2005|02:21am] |
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still breathing | sweet wound sour |
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potluck tomorrow with the gang. cleaned out the room, put up pictures, took several hours. fun music. fun talk. miss <sarah3. the end.
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| .something to die for. |
[03 Mar 2005|02:41am] |
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xdisciplex ad | die humanity |
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we just got back from jamie's house, a kung pow party. alot of fucking fun, she is the most hospitable person i've ever met. practice tomorrow. meagan tomorrow. every day is an exciting series of comfortable yet intriguing events. this winter is much easier to bare with a warm heart. i'm very excited about IDT coming up in a few weeks. i miss sarah, too bad she's grounded because instead of studying me and her were doing meth together.
keep it real kids.
<SHD3
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| i will not fall. i will not crumble. |
[01 Mar 2005|06:18pm] |
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dead to fall | stand your ground |
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i know i'll never be good enough
and i don't care because i'm never giving up
i live my life on my own terms.
this is where we bury all that drags us down.
this is where we break free to stand our own ground.
dear sarah:
<3.
dear other people:
like a bullet ripping through my life, opening the gates to a river washing away your green disguises that control my life. the goal seems to be gaining everything for yourself, and in the end you will have nothing but yourself. you don't control me anymore.
i was thinking about you today, about how you're a sellout, about how you're a weak idiot, you make me fucking sick, i could fucking puke hearing all those words come out of your lying mouth. how you claimed you cared for their despair, how you claimed it sickened you...the cruelty. till death you said. two battles you're losing. looks like all of your sincerity was for show. and you ask your friends to lie about it, to lie about breaking your honor, so that the idiots you want to be attracted to you don't become agitated with you. you give what i believe in a bad name, i was here before you came and i'll be here when you're gone, when the next fad comes along, the next cute boy that compliments you, you will throw it all away. everything i ever thought made you smart, everything i ever thought made you interesting, different, a fucking lie. something designed to make me want you, to need your touch you sick piece of shit. you're probably one of the worst people i've ever met, and i should have believed you when you said it so many months ago, at least that's one honest thing i can credit you for saying. one of your favorite lines...you know...the one you put everywhere, you obviously don't feel that way, do you put it up to express the opposite of how you act? put down those x's, pick up that milk and just fucking be yourself. maybe you could actually achieve some type of happiness that way. true before you. true after you. i remain unbroken, my heart warming, recovering from the vile touch of your cold hand. keep playing the victim, keep fishing for compliments, keep playing dress up for them, keep preaching to their choirs, and keep slowly dying on the inside, you are no longer my responsibility.
saw josh last night, amazingly fun times. meagan is at caseys right now, i'm dying my hair then we're picking her up and staying at her place. life is good.
<sarah3
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| .two sips belong for love. |
[28 Feb 2005|03:38pm] |
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 ecstatic |
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nevea tears | today cake, tomorrow spraying for roaches |
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jacob arson: im going to box you
jacob arson: me vs. you and your band
NeveaTears: haha y?
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| .all i ever wanted was |
[28 Feb 2005|03:36am] |
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in reverent fear | the beggars |
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NOTE: please ignore the last post in its entirety.
secondly:
tomorrow is hang out/rape lake with meagan and kalie and rob! i'm soo happy! fuck i also get to see casey and hear his insane stories of anarchist adventure. i'm so excited about life right now fuck me. tomorrow will be a grand day. the ride home from sarahs house was the worst shit ever, it was so fucking snowy and insane we almost died four times and our brains melted off.
i love ghosts. and ghost stories. the end.
<sarah3.
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[27 Feb 2005|11:56pm] |
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mood |
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hopesfall | escape pod for intangibles |
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i left the horizon
curled up and frozen still
the tilting of the hourglass
with all this time to kill
with all this time to kill.
oh hey guess what
i give up weeeewoooooooooooooooooooohaayeaaaaaahhhhhhhhlaksjhlaksjhrwlekjrhw
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| .please remove this. |
[25 Feb 2005|05:44pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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nevea tears | act one scene one |
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are you listening? can you hear me? do you see the way she's dressed tonight?
thisunionforever: i just want you to be with a girl and be happy for once
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| .manipulate the eclipse. |
[25 Feb 2005|01:06am] |
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hopesfall | from your hands |
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dear sarah dippel:
why do your eyes paralyze me? what makes me feel this way? just carry me away with silence. and heart beats as rapid. and heartbeats as rapid as thinking about your embrace, and how it makes me feel i just want to feel this way forever. sleep on portraits painted as perfect as you, why have i been given the chance to fly. when i'm not with you i feel lesser. alone. i remember your face imprinted on angels, your voice as beautiful as the sound of waves crashing against my heart. time slows down when you look at me. i'm infatuated with this. infatuated with you. it's so hard for me to understand why i hadn't found you before. don't dull away, hold my hand.
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| .i guess i was wrong. |
[24 Feb 2005|09:12pm] |
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 stupid. |
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in reverant fear | yearbook signing party |
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kill me.
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| .a world of olive eyes that frame regret on every face. |
[24 Feb 2005|01:10pm] |
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roses are red | i appologize |
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if i could i'd draw a heart for you. fix it in between the essence of my hands. illuminate the arteries until you understand.
today was the first night in a while i had a comfortable sleep, i actually slept on a bed, i woke up and rob had stolen my blanket and wrapped it completely around his head for no reason. we tried watching dawn of the dead last night with meagan but we all fell asleep, we are [probablymaybe] going to sarah's to watch it later. saturday night maybe rape lake with meagan, maybe seeing justin rivord in the first time in forever? the future excites me. i feel so drifting but so calm, i feel affixed and free simultaneously, it's very reassuring. hopefully the potluck will be somewhere next week? i'm going to be extra excited about the next one for no reason. lately it seems like we all experience the frightening blur of the past, i was wondering if you would catch on, memories melting off and becoming meaningless. i still care, but you know that's wrong, i still feel. this happiness is new, i've never really experienced it like this before, all senses of urgency are gone.
everything that i wish i could say to you fell between the skies we stare into.
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| .nostradamus would have wanted it this way. |
[22 Feb 2005|12:38pm] |
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forever is forgotten | tied to a strangers hand |
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seeing <3sarah in a while. then jordan as well. rob is very very sick. meagan is very very kill us.
life is very good. potluck tomorrow at socks, be there.
jacob arson: you're going to play armorines with me
your not janelle: hah
jacob arson: you won't be laughing when a plasma beam hits you in the dick.
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| .i killed your fucking face. |
[22 Feb 2005|12:13am] |
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ecstatic |
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between the buried and me | more of myself to kill |
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we just got back from sarah's house a little while ago. i'm the happiest person ever.
<BF4L3
edit:
p.s.
i finally finished that dream community i always talked about making, join it kids, post your dreams and nightmares and get made fun of.
www.livejournal.com/users/thisnightsknife
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| i will tear everything about your cold blackened way of life out of my heart. |
[20 Feb 2005|08:19pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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dead to fall | like a bullet |
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you're on your own this time. this time you're on your own. i can't believe i let you do this to me. taken advantage of forced "i love you's" and broken goodbyes. love is such a game to you. love is such a game. everything i touch falls to pieces. you don't control me anymore.
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| i thought i heard you breathing. it was just the sound of me laughing. someone called your shot. |
[16 Feb 2005|01:03pm] |
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pissed off |
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hopesfall | dead in magazines |
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remove your hand from my throat. my heart is too secure for your insecurities. now i've killed this desire, and it quickly became distaste. distaste for you, or what you have composed to be you. so go on, quit wasting my time, i've spent more time on you. to the eye you are sweet, but to the soul you're sour. and i am no less without you.
i went to sweatfest last night, most of the bands were good. today i wait was amazing, i haven't seen them in three years. but the crowd was shit. hanging out with the gang was cool, so was mr. ryan stout, really neat kid. to everyone i used to call a friend one year ago: fuck you. and to anyone who's ever claimed to love me: fuck you. i fucking hate all of you.
marissa, i've been trying to call you alot but you never answer your cell, and your mom couldn't wake you up.
i want to have a talk with you about something, it's pretty important i guess. <3.
fighting not to look back, but still tasting the dust from the last time we did...you're the one that wants to cry something. you're the one who wants to prove something. because you feel....nothing.
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